Speed Dating
I know a few people who do nothing but live for their weekends.
They really enjoy going out on Friday and Saturday nights to have a few drinks with their friends or, in the absence of friends, random people, buying them drinks and then getting up on the dance floor with them.
Occasionally they bring a friend home, but it usually isn't for a long lasting or meaningful relationship and they're usually back at the bar the following weekend.
Though the bar scene may provide a good time for some in the dating game, others see it as a shallow and pretty meaningless way to meet people who tend to get increasingly drunk as the evening goes on. Yet some of these people still end up at the bars on the weekends. Why?
The usual answer is that it's the only way they can think of for meeting other singles. They don't want to date their work colleagues, they wouldn't use a dating agency, and they're either not keen or not ready for meetings online through dating sites. As they are unlikely to strike up conversations with random people on the street, the bar or night club seems the best place to go to find company.
It's not an uncommon scenario. Unimpressed with bars, wary of online dating services, and tired of blind dates, many people have turned to speed dating as a way to meet new people.
Speed dating nights are usually either hosted by speed dating services or by particular bars or clubs. They collect a number of singles, often between twenty and forty, and put them into a room together.
The way it works is that the single men and women rotate around the room at timed intervals, usually between three and five minutes. This way, each of the men meets each of the women and vice-versa, but only for a short period of time. After each encounter, the singles mark whether or not they enjoyed the encounter on their own private sheet of paper.
At the end of the night these sheets are handed in to the organizer. Afterwards, if there were pairings in which both members said they enjoyed the meeting, both parties are given each others contact information, allowing them to get together at some point in the future.
Speed dating is based on the idea that when you meet someone new you usually make up your mind about them within the first few minutes - the infamous first impression. The subconscious chemistry or attraction that we don't have much control over kicks in and lets us know whether someone is compatible almost immediately.
On that basis, if things are going to go well with someone you'll probably feel it during your mini speed date, but if the two of you really aren't compatible you only have to spend a few short minutes with each other. This avoids the awkwardness of those dreaded blind date disasters or long, painful dinner conversations, while allowing you to meet a lot of new people all at once.
Speed dating may not be for everyone, but many people are finding it a great alternative to other more traditional ways of meeting other singles. There's almost certainly going to be someone near you organising one, so why not give it a try? What's the worst that can happen?
This article was written by Michael Surtees for Help & Advice.
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