First Date
How come a first date with someone always seems so important, and why do we get so nervous?
You get the sweaty palms, butterflies in your tummy, secretly you're hoping that he or she will be the one, and you are trying so very hard to make a good first impression. After all, a first date is ideally the seed that will grow into a great relationship.
But the problem is that the seed doesn't always take root. In truth, it can take many dates for a relationship to grow, never mind flourish!
First dates may seem important in creating great relationships, but they might not be as important as most people would have you think. They are in fact a tiny part of relationships and romance as a whole. How many relationships started off with a first date which was a complete failure by normal standards? Lots. One of the keys to a quality first date is to realize how insignificant it may be.
When you go walk into a first date thinking it's relatively unimportant, don't worry about appearing off-hand or uncaring - you're not going to be unlikable. In fact, because you are that much more relaxed, you're going to be that much more likeable. Remember, great relationships are all about two people being relaxed in each other's presence. That's all it takes.
So, during a first date, don't focus on the date, how it's going or how you might be coming across. Instead, try and relax, which will in turn make your dater relax too. Work on being comfortable and accepting of yourself and your date, and the rest will fall into place.
Imagine that you know the person you're with. Act as if you have no-one to impress. You're more likely to speak from your heart, to be more fun and more interesting to the other person. Great relationships with others come from a great relationship with yourself. Use your relaxed attitude to show real interest in the other person. Ask them about themselves, get them to talk about their passions. There's nothing quite as effective as a passionate conversation to stop someone being self-conscious.
Go into your first date as if it were a chance encounter with a very good old friend. This attitude will give you room to breathe and feel safe. Stop thinking of what might happen, what the first date might lead to. Enjoy the first date for what it is, not for what it might be. You can enjoy that later. Make the most of the time you have with this person, enjoy them for who they are, and don't worry about the future.
This article was written by Don Mitchell for Help & Advice.
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